This week, I flew into Dallas just in time for my dad’s 80th birthday with a surprise in hand. But to fully understand this 80th birthday surprise you may need some context.
Bill Burnside, the guest of honor, met my mother, Masako, while he was stationed in Japan during his 20-year military career. Although not fluent in Japanese, Bill developed a close relationship with his future father-in-law, who was not fluent in English. This proud Japanese father of 8 was impressed by this young American who admired and vowed to take care of his youngest daughter known for taking care of everyone else. In loving honor of his support, my grandfather learned enough English to sing “You Are My Sunshine” at their wedding.
The moment was symbolic of merging cultures through a shared language of music. Masako grew up beautifully singing along to enka and with musical brothers as well. Bill grew up wanting to learn steel guitar… but let his closest brother-in-law, Van, gradually be included in his lessons. Did this “steel” the spotlight? Not exactly. Bill realized how passionate Van was about guitar, and Van did teach him guitar when his own lessons and skill took off. The two shared a love of country music and guitars. Van went on to become a Whitesboro musician after his real estate office closed each day.
I imagine this is where you now expect these two newlyweds to start a band, travel the world, and land in Hawaii for their final ukulele transformation tour. My apologies. Let me get us back on track. This is what happened instead:
Career, family, fur family, and many laughs later, our family still created an eclectic set of musical influences. My mom passed along her love of singing enka, singing Misora Hibari’s traditional songs (“Kanashii Sake”), jazz/blues standards (“Cry Me a River”), etc. (“Aloha ‘Oe”). My dad introduced me to a varied world of country music, from Patsy Cline to Johnny Cash to Ray Stevens. (Don’t get me started on the irony of being introduced to The Pirates of Penzance via “The Pirate Song.”) They created a monster. I majored in music, got a Master’s in Aesthetic Studies, taught piano, tore a ligament playing piano, picked up classical guitar, made my dad sad that it’s nothing like steel guitar, picked up the odaiko, I could go on….
Back to Dad… Dad became the funny, light-hearted version of his earlier self as he “leveled up.” (I call it.) Even giving his grandson, Rai, a hard time about “roughing it” as he set off for college this summer to HPU (Hawaii Pacific University).
So, how do you make your dad’s 80th birthday special?
You pick up an instrument because you think the challenge of learning an instrument in two whole lessons is sufficient blood, sweat, and tears (maybe literally) to give your parents a reunion tour. Anyone who lives within 100 feet of my upstairs apartment, works with me, or is subject to my rants knows I set the bar too high with a 3-song medley. But those who know me best also knew I would find a way to squeeze in a 4th. Happy Birthday > You Are My Sunshine > Lava (from the Pixar short) > Aloha ‘Oe. The biggest challenge? Not posting pictures of this beautiful instrument from a real music store in Hawaii.
Fast forward to this week, and I finally got to show my dad this secret purchase and the strumming instrument with some actual songs. My favorite moment might be my dad and mom jumping in to sing along so quickly that my dad literally forgot the first song was for him. 🙂 His coming back to those songs later in the day might have been my 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th favorite. I got more strum time in on his birthday than the rest of this week. He and Mom had enough fun that we printed lyrics and learned the only other song he knew that I could figure out how to play on the spot (Let It Be).
What’s next?
Courtesy of ChatGPT and photos of the real fur grandkids (Curie and Ada)
For anyone who thinks it’s too late to pick up an instrument, return to an old pastime, or just wants to hear a depressing song of loss on a heartwarming instrument, I hope this gives you a little courage and joy.
Happy Birthday, Dad!
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